"dont worry," he said.
worry? why should i worry?
love can only last so long before it falls apart.
"trust me," he said.
forever and always, why wouldn't i?
but lies are told, and trust is lost.
"believe me," he said.
i will this time..hopefully it won't happen again.
but things don't always end up the way you hope them to be.
"nothing happened," he said
how could nothing have happened?
people fall into old habits, but only if they choose to.
"calm down," he said.
you're right, i'm overreacting. right?
but sometimes overreactions are signs of defense.
"no. don't ask anymore questions," he said.
who and what am i supposed to believe then?
questions need answers to keep honesty between two.
"leave me alone," he said.
not until i get the truth.
but we never always get what we want. and when we do..
"no, i don't love you. i love her," he said.
.....
deception...can kill one's life.

Best Friendship Quotes

“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” - Albert Camus

“Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.” - Aristotle

“Your friend is the man who knows all about you and still likes you.” - Elbert Hubbard

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” - Dale Carnegie

“True friends stab you in the front.” - Oscar Wilde

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” - Helen Keller

“I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.” - Abraham Lincoln

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value. Rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” - C. S. Lewis

“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.” - William Butler Yeats

“Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.” - George Eliot

Uselessly Amazing.

funny but relatively useless information

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.
5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.
6. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. (except in Salford, Manchester. The University of Salford conducted an experiment proving this much quoted internet fact to be a fallacy. So there you go, never believe anything you read on t'internet http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_info/duck/
7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2 by 3-1/2.
8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur", a small red car can be seen in the distance.
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
10. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.
12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.
13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple, and silver.
14. The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was never a recorded Wendy before.
15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
16. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.
17. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves.
18. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".
19. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.
20. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
21. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.
22. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.
23. By raising your legs slowly and laying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.
24. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.
25. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
26. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
27. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said "Elementary, my dear Watson".
28. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.
30. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.
31. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. Not to mention the other drawback to passing gas in such a confined space....
32. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave
33. The Guinness World Record for holding the most Guinness World Records is set by Ashrita Furman , who has broken 303 official Guinness World records

untitled.

Wrath thrust onto a tarnished and broken heart.
No one understands, no one.
Empathy does not exist among the charred pieces.
No lust, no love.
Dark and deceiving, the mind does work.
No hope, no hope.
Reminiscent memories eluded by fear.
No trust, no trust.
Unforgiving words that escape her lips.
No want, no need.
Tears fall down those soft, pale cheeks.
No color, no life.
Being replaced by objects unknown
Who knows...who knows...?
Convoluted and scared, is she.
No clarity, no clarity.
The want to be needed and wanted herself.
Nobody, nobody.
Standing in solitude, in her caliginous corner.
Alone, always alone.

Sick. Hate it. Love it. Endulge it. Throw it out. Take it in. Enjoy the time you have while you can. Once you go back, you won't be the same.

i wish i had some one who cared enough to do things for me, as i do for them. i do way to much. nobody appreciates it, nobody pays me back, nobody returns the favor. i wish i had some body who loved me enough to see me without me asking them. call me just because they want to hear my voice. i wish i had some body that would consider me, and treat me the same as their friends. When they want to go visit a friend without telling them, without some one asking them, without any reason, just to visit, smile, and laugh, i wish they would do it for me. Aren't I important to? Do i matter? It's all i've ever wanted, and i never get it. No matter how many hints dropped, no matter how many tears cried. All of it goes to waste. I'm a waste.

wet-stricken pages

of a soul so deep

where secrets unfurl

the blackest horizon

lighter than the ink

no eyes shall see

but it wants to be read

come out dark secrets

expose yourself to the world

help will one day come

unless hidden away

beneath the dark cover

of a bleeding heart.

adventure!

so..i left my homework home today. and i really needed it for my test during third, and i was supposed to finish it during second period. i ask my teacher if i can run home. she let me. I get home, grab my homework, and get back in the car. i stop at seven eleven to get myself some hot chocolate. i get back to school, and my parking spot is taken. i go to the upper parking lot: no parking spaces. i turn out and turn into the main parking lot: my car started gliding in the wrong direction because there was snow blocking the entrance. i have no cup holder in my truck, so i'm driving with my steaming, searing hot hot chocolate. i try to get into the parking lot, but my truck gets stuck. the tires are caught in the snow, and they kept turning, and turning, and turning, and i don't move. Finally, after five minutes, i get into the parkinglot, and drive all over, trying to find a spot. I end up parking in the driver's range. i find out i'm practically out of gas. I get out of the car and walk to the building. 3 crows follow me there. what the crap?

reminiscing

Painted fingernails. D*elia's. Busch Gardens. Harry potter Quidditch computer games. Song writing. Long hair. Streaking. Sahara's. Make believe. Armpit hair. secret picnics. poetry, books. flipflops. body pillows. scale model house. green and purple. purple nails. ms. braza. guacamole. hiding rachel's stuff. recording what she says. bad smoker/throw-up breath. high school diplomas. mrs. krieps. global girls gazette. our "gymnastics program." s.n.e.l.p.ers. miniature pillows. sadko. curry chicken. allen jones. kearns. big, lazy brother that would never get off the freaking computer. fashion shows. birthday parties. facials. manicures. gay guy that did my pedicure hat wanted to hook up with your brother ."just because" :). yearbook drama. sarah dessen. boys. ireland, london. seeing harry potter 3 like....4 times in the same month. Paper mache. daniel radcliffe. liam aiken. in short: I. Miss. You.

something happens.

its my fault.

automatically.

the other messes up.

i forgive.

the other messes up.

i get blamed.

i get guilt.

but i still forgive.

no matter the pain.

i mess up.

i'm blamed.

i get guilt.

i have pain.

no one forgives.

dumb?

i think yes.

at school.
still sick.
hate life.
want hot chocolate.
want sleep.
want coloring books.
want oatmeal.
want silly stories.
want secret picnics.
want ruthie.

what. the. hell.

i went to the "gastro..whatever" specialist today. The PA that was helping me....pretty much one of the dumbest and most retarded bitch I think I've met. I told her my entire medical history since July, and how it was progressively getting worse, and that I'm losing a considerably large amount of weight. Yeah. guess what she said to me?
"Oh, Mary Jane, we really don't want to do anything at the current moment. We think this whole ill process is a way for your body to get better. We really think that whatever digestive problem you had is getting better. But I mean..if you want to run a scoping test, I'm sure there is no harm in that."
What a dumb bitch. First of all: I don't have a digestive track problem. Second of all: I am most definately not getting better if I'm still losing weight I'm weak, and sick, and still have reoccuring chest pains. Third of all: that the whole reason we went to that specialist was to get a stupid scoping test because the emergency room wanted me to. Fourth of all: You're a bitch. She had this whole tone of voice that made it seem like i didn't know any better, and that I was making all of this stuff up, and that it's far too "atypical" to really nail anything down and that all the pain and suffering I'm going through is a way to keep getting better. Well, miss-know-it-all-bitch, you won't be saying the same thing if I end up with another attack, or i completely vanish because I go under 100 pounds XP.

that is all.

:)

God made spaces between our fingers so some one else can fill the gap <3

Difficulties

When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic
When I'm sad, I'm doleful
When I'm deep in thought, I'm presuming
When I'm angry, I'm tumultuous.
When I empathize, I'm consoling.
When I say I'm sorry, I remorse
When I say I'd love to, I mean it from the bottom of my heart
When I say I love you, I mean it from the depths of my soul.
When I say it's true, you better believe it :)

I'm not too difficult. Take my emotion, and multiply it by a million. That's how i really feel.

These I have Loved

These I have loved:
Creamy chocolate, melted to form your eyes,
Dark, delicious, desirable;
Hands to hold; Face to caress;
Your voice, soundly singing off key,
Like a symphony playing two different songs;
A smile, so simple, like the sun,
Lights my life;
The smell of peppermint lingering,
Dancing its way through the threads of my clothes,
As you breathe on my shoulder;
Your wink, a spark heard only by me,
From across a room;
Our nerves tast our excitement;
Old spice, a nice greeting for old friends,
From cologne to nose;
Your back towards me, as you walk away,
A promise:
To see each other soon;
All these have been my loves.

The Fear Factor

Striking as it may be. It hunts, it kills, it hunts again. Its main purpose: destruction. But why? Why the pain? Why the fear? To help us learn. That's why. Why, without the experience it gives, we may never empathize. Without empathy, what are we really? Just another person saying, "I'm sorry." Everyone is always sorry. That's all any one ever seems to feel anymore. "I'm bored." "Oh, I'm sorry." "I hurt." "Oh I'm sorry." Sorry is boring, sorry hurts more than, "It'll be okay." Why the pain? Why the fear? To help us evolve from careless adolecents to wise and experienced adults.

It's You

"Some mysteries I will never understand: The way the earth rotates around the sun, three minutes shorter every day.Or the way the dead are gone by putting down a phone or turning the corner. The Future: Now that's another whopper. I can never know what we never know. Except: whoever you are, and whoever I am, you made it alright to be me."--Driving Lessons

i know this page is the "rantings" of a chocolate crazed person, but seriously, i don't rant....haha, oh well, hi, how is every one, i feel so in the dark right now....no one comes to my blog. :(

Rose

The innocent child was a rose
with velvety skin in bloom.
Small prickly thorns here and there
to protect her personality.
A fresh fragrance smelled
after a long soothing bath.
The appearance was beautiful in
every way.
A wild rose at home
letting out every feeling
A domestic rose at school, tamed, making sure that she'll always be the perfect little angel.
Surrounded by bunches of friends
making sure that she's never lonely.
A red rose is what she is,
bashful and shy, when around her crush.
A yellow rose in the sunlight
when she's able to be hyper
A rose that has been dyed black when
hiding something from her parents
A rose, made of chocolate when trying to be sweet
to get what she wants
A rose dipped in gold,
when showing her pure heart
At the beginning of summer
she's brilliant and excited
But towards the end
a little more wilted and exhausted
She carries around petals
of emotions
The innocent child was a rose
ready to bloom into maturity