Though I was a little annoyed at the beginning. But I got over that.
I was annoyed mainly because my date kept pulling out his phone and was texting.
I always get butterflies before I see this guy.
Yesterday, on my drive over to his house, my stomach was just in knots.
It's funny, having already gone on a few dates with him, and made out and spent 3 sleepless nights with him... I'm still completely worried that I'm gonna screw things up with him, by the way I act or look. I almost did with that ridiculous letter. I think I'm being a little too careful. He hasn't really seen me in full swing yet.
I really want things to work out between us.
We stayed up really late last night. I didn't get home until 7:30 this morning. But I was really happy with where I was. I didn't want to come back home. I didn't want to face reality.
I smile all the time when he's there. When I get home, my cheeks are just so sore.
But I like it. Not everybody can keep me smiling even if we aren't in the same room.
I felt some sort of personal connection with him last night/this morning. I dunno if he did, but I felt a little closer.
We kinda accidentally fell asleep on the couch...while cuddling in a spoon-like formation... (:
And I felt so comfortable there, even though it was sweltering hot, and we were sweaty with a blanket covering us.
I wish we could have stayed like that a little while longer. It made me feel wanted.
And when we hugged goodbye, I just felt like standing there in the living room for the rest of the day in that embrace. Things have been tough, but that hug made it worthwhile.
I really don't want to go to the Caribbean now. I want to be able to stay here and talk to him some more. I'm afraid that when I get back..we'll be going back down on this relationship roller coaster. And I'm worried that with school coming and everything...It may stay down.
But I really hope it doesn't. I'm terrified.
And now I'm getting emotional over this all. I'm such a baby.
Don't forget me, please.
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