money sucks.

Today, I found that when I have a problem, and I really need to talk to a friend...I have no idea who to turn to. I have no idea how I'm going to survive the next year, financially. Absolutely no idea. With my parent's divorce, and my father's situation, we lose his income. We were already tight with money as it is. Not even living paycheck to paycheck. And now college is coming at such an awful time. I'm only getting $5500 in grant money. That doesn't even cover my tuition. Let alone my books and my housing, and my gas money, and living. I'm not getting any hours at hollister at all. Literally. And I can't find another job that'll help me earn more and give me better hours when I can only work certain nights because of school. I have classes from 6-8pm on tuesdays and thursdays. I've already used up all I had in my saving's account to help pay for my gas and lessons and such. I have nothing.

But I can't stay home for the school year either. I just...can't handle my family anymore. Especially with what is going on. I can't handle the personal stress on top of my school work. I am taking 7 classes after all.

And I sit here now, tearing up. My mother at my door yelling at me, telling me how much of a financial burden I am. What am I supposed to do? Not go to college? I seem to be nothing but an inconvenience to my mother. At least, that's what she's been telling me for the past month.

I really wish a had a good enough friend who would just...let me stay with them for a bit. I can't handle my home life right now. There's far too much shit going on.

The only person who would is Kelly. And she now goes to college, so it's not like I can drive down to provo and live in her dorm. I have no one to tell this too. I don't want to be a burden on anyone else's lives.

So I get to sit here, locked up in my room. All by myself. No one to confess to besides this blog that no one reads.