Husband List--in progress

1. He must be a Return Missionary

2. He must have a strong testimony

3. He must attend church on a regular basis

4. He must be a worthy priesthood holder

5. He must be kind

6. He must be a gentleman (opening doors, etc)

7. He must be musical (singing is a requirement :) and I would love for him to play another instrument. Preferably piano, or cello. Mainly because those are my favorite instruments)

8. He must have a very calm temper. Hardly ever gets mad.

9. He must be a driven man. School, work, family.

10. He must always put family and the church first.

11. He must be a great listener.

It Almost Rained

Kind of really bummed right now. "Tyson" told me today that he can't do choir anymore :(

What am I gonna do?

Cry. Almost.

Go out with a BANG!

I had a great ending to a terrible weekend. :) Not only did I get to sing for L. Tom Perry this evening, and listen to his amazing talk, but I also finally got some one-on-one time with "Tyson." We had a lovely conversation in the car, and I like him that much more now. I have never been so excited to go on our date this friday. :D

He talked about how his parents were perfect for each other, because they are kind of opposites, and as he was pointing things out, I couldn't help but notice that you could apply the same things to us as well. I can cook, he can't. I am quite punctual, he's not so much. And so on. I really think there is some serious potential here. And I can' t wait to find out if anything ends up between the two of us. I have a good feeling that there will.

He also showed me his secret route home tonight. It was the most beautiful view of the Salt Lake Temple I have ever seen. Thank you, "Tyson," you and L Tom Perry made my entire weekend :)

Who Am I?

So far, this weekend hasn't exactly been the best. It started out alright, and I'm hoping it'll end alright. The middle was complete crap though.

You see..I got my wallet and my phone stolen yesterday. In cafe rio. In salt lake. I am never going there again. :( Two of my friends went into the men's bathroom and found my purse dumped in the sink, and I was very depressed. They stole my driver's license, my student ID, my debit card, my insurance card, my phone, my life. I'm just...not a happy camper right now.

I have been considering lying about my age this week...I mean, because I have no form of identification, why not be something different, right? ha...That way maybe my age difference between "Tyson" and I won't seem as...unattractive...

Because I don't have my things, it means that I can't get into my building to, you know...go to bed and get changed and shower and live and stuff....and I can't drive. And because I don't have my phone, I have no way of contacting any one. So I have to live with my mom and let her know when she needs to drop me off and come and get me. I swear, it's like elementary school all over again.

But I'm very thankful for the few friends that helped me out yesterday. To them, I am eternally grateful. Especially Miss Lindsay. She's my savior. She kind of made the whole night better. I dunno where I would be without her. So thanks, hon.

So again, I hope things will get a little better over the next week.....I'll be praying a lot.

By the way... "Tyson" called back...and said yes. :)

Don't Call.

So, I'm kind of feeling like an idiot right now. This guy I really like...let's call him Tyson...is in a choir of mine. And I seriously think he's the best guy I've met in college. We've hung out once outside of class, and it was pretty good. Nothing special. Just a movie with a bunch of other friends. But I've been feeling the need to ask him on a date for the past week. So I tried today.

It took me about..oh, I'd say 3 hours to get the guts up just to call him.

And of course, he didn't answer. So I just left a ridiculous message on his phone. And he hasn't called back yet. Now, I know he's busy and that he has a life and all, but I'm just feeling very vulnerable right now. It's been an hour or so. And usually he takes a LONG time to get back. But still. I kind of wish I didn't do anything.

I'm worried that he'll say no. But I'm even more worried that he won't call back.

Needs An Awesome Folk Tune

Tell me what you think?:

A smile so pure of pearly whites

A sound of music I've never heard

A sparkle in your glance

Leaves me fleeting, hopelessly

For unfamiliar territory

Will the stars align for us

And answer the unasked questions

Fulfill a craving that my hands can't touch

The hands of comfort to wipe away

The unshed tears of loneliness

I'm hoping, wishing, wanting things that cannot be

The possibilities of actuality slip away

Leaving me to face the infamous reality

Of empty laughs and hardened eyes

Cold hands, cold heart

Awkward

Today has been kind of an awkward day.

I had work, and it was great. Only because I saw a certain somebody in the last few minutes of my shift. And on top of it all, we texted a bit tonight :) it made me extremely happy. But what made it awkward was the fact that I went to sleep over at Kelly's for general conference, and he was home. With a girl. And it's amazing how jealous I can get, just sitting here, watching them put their heads close together and whispering. They aren't cuddling, but they may as well should be. I find it slightly annoying, but there is nothing I can really do about it. I don't understand why I'm jealous. I have this new guy to look forward too. We're going to party sometimes soon. Hopefully.

But I guess I'm going to have to work harder to get rid of my feelings for you-know-who.

weird.

more on this awkward situation tomorrow!

Masters in China

I wrote this yesterday...so in case the tense doesn't make sense..

Today, I woke up and felt like crying. There was quite literally no time in-between me opening my eyes and then sinking into the ground. All of a sudden, for the past couple of days, I've become more aware of my loneliness. Cupcakes, friends, school....they are fun but not fulfilling.

I went and visited a couple friends last night, down in Provo. I never realized how much I miss them. But what made it difficult on me was seeing them with their boyfriends. I watched and this emptiness within me grew. And then their talk of family...

On top of it all, I'm going back into those kind of relationships we had with boys back in junior high; where I am crushing terribly on the popular boy, he knows I exist, but there is not click. He probably has a girlfriend anyway, with how perfect and amazing he is.

There's a song by Priscilla Ahn that kind of explains how I'm feeling. The lyrics, I think, are quite beautiful:

You've always been bashful, you're just that way

But your eyes are like billboards, they give you away

Your mouth is a trumpet, somebody else plays

Long after the notes gone, the tone usually stays

And your chest a fine pillow, with lining of feathers

Your hair is a family, with strands stick together

Fingers are keys from the grandest piano,

played by a line that the Lord only know

A tongue of an angel, floats in red wine saliva

Your teeth ravel porcelain, made by masters in China

Your face can't be captured by picture or words

And your voice is a music that I've never heard

And your skin is a cream, dipped out beyond measure

Your nose is a pink color, touched by the weather,

your fingers are keys from the grandest piano

Played by a soul that the Lord only knows

For the past few weeks, I've been wanting to write my own beautiful, lyrical poem, and maybe eventually turn it into a song....I'll try that this weekend.